One
trait of me is being curious, really curious. Not about other people’s business
but stuff that is hidden from me. I remember those days, when I constantly asked
questions to my mom, why do you not permit me to do this, while all other kids in
fact can do? Why do you restrict me in this way when this is what I want to do?
(In my view It did not involve any harm for me or for anyone else).There are
even situations, where I came to the conclusion that my mom loves my siblings
more than me or she does not love me at all.
But one constant answer she gave me was, that “I promise you to answer all the
questions, when you become like me, young women”. That did not convince me,
however fascinated me to become a young women, who will know all the answers to
the tough questions. I thought, my mom did not know the answers to those
questions or there are no legitimate answers to those questions.
Now
one day as I am looking back, what about those questions I asked my mom, she
did promise to answer me now. I knew almost all the answer, not by my mom
answering, but just by being like her, an adult. Another interesting part is, I
don’t have any questions for my mom at all. I laugh at myself, for thinking
that my mom didn’t love me or she loved
my siblings more than me, I know that is absolutely not true, that was my
immaturity rather ignorance.
I am frustrated at times by some of God’s so called “Perfect Plans”. I say, “Really God! What good can happen to me, by having these two miserable miscarriages, with lots of physical and emotional pain?” But God seems to answer me in the way similar to my mom, “I promise to answer you, when you become like me, not mortal but immortal. Not in this world, but when you come to heaven (no, I don’t mean to be God, but mean not to be constrain to this world)”. Now, I am more than convinced, two things that could happen to me in heaven, I will know all the answers myself or I won’t have any questions to ask Him at all. I am telling myself, why bother asking Him any questions, rather just wait until I get to Him. I know we as humans have too many questions. In this world’s standards, many things are not fair or perfect, but we have a choice, to wait to get away from this world and ask those questions to Him, who is the Author and the Creator of all things, or just come to the conclusion that He does not love us, or He loves someone more than us. But the accurate answer ultimately demands some long waiting. God Bless.
I am frustrated at times by some of God’s so called “Perfect Plans”. I say, “Really God! What good can happen to me, by having these two miserable miscarriages, with lots of physical and emotional pain?” But God seems to answer me in the way similar to my mom, “I promise to answer you, when you become like me, not mortal but immortal. Not in this world, but when you come to heaven (no, I don’t mean to be God, but mean not to be constrain to this world)”. Now, I am more than convinced, two things that could happen to me in heaven, I will know all the answers myself or I won’t have any questions to ask Him at all. I am telling myself, why bother asking Him any questions, rather just wait until I get to Him. I know we as humans have too many questions. In this world’s standards, many things are not fair or perfect, but we have a choice, to wait to get away from this world and ask those questions to Him, who is the Author and the Creator of all things, or just come to the conclusion that He does not love us, or He loves someone more than us. But the accurate answer ultimately demands some long waiting. God Bless.
