Realities Learned

Time is just what we set in our clock!

I woke up Sunday and was shocked to see that I loosed an hour. Yes, it was a time change day for day light saving.  Even after several years of living in US, I am still guilty of forgetting these and going an hour late to church, time to time. After, realizing the different times in my clock and phone. I told myself, it is ok I can set the time in the clock. In that moment, I recognized time is just what we set in our clock

                 

This truth assisted me with one temporal and one eternal understanding. After becoming a mother it seems as though my 24 hours has all of a sudden shrunk to 2 hours. On top of my sleep reducing from eight hours to 4 or five hours. I have so much to do with so little time, fells like. I obese over time, even though nobody would define me as a punctual person and truthfully so (if you have a trick to be punctual with a six month old baby, please share that with me). This time factor puts strain on my relationship, and my health. As though, I am serving the time more than anyone or anything else. The purpose of this post is not to de-emphasis the importance of time, but to set someone free from the obsession over time. I realized, that we could value time more than our God then it becomes a sin.

I always had difficulty understanding that GOD is outside time. He does not have time or He has his own time. I was so obsessed with time that I felt the date I was born, or New Year day these are very significant. Yes it might be, but not that significant to God, He has his own time. Actually He exists before and after our time. He has nothing to do with our time. I grasped, how foolish it is to think that God would do something according to our time. As negligible as we are comparing to this massive universe, we could just change the time by one simple act, by setting our clock different. How much more it is understandable, When God said that He is coming soon, really did mean it. He is coming soon. Even though, it is thousands of years according to our temporal time, but not according to God who called everything into being.

I agree with the interest to be on time for any appointment or occasion, in the gesture of respect to the other person or people. I don’t agree with obsessing over time more than relationships or health. If it allows you, set your clock one hour more and doze, spend few extra minutes with your spouse of child during the family time, go little slower than the set speed limit in the freeway and enjoy the nature around you, stay in God presence little longer than your scheduled quite time. After all, time is what we set in our clock! It is very much temporal.

God Bless.

 

Distance, the sweet enemy of relationship!

I grow really impatient and bored as my students were working diligently on the intense group assignment. I decided to skim through my old chat history from email. Interestingly, one particular chat between me and my husband grabbed my attention.

Hubby: Can I come there now?

Me:  You are hereJ

 We were physically separated for three years, because of visa situations. We were separated between more than few thousand miles, and more than 12 hours of time difference. When he saw sun, I saw the moon and vise versa. Yes, during that time of separation that this chat happened. Despite knowing that it will take more than 16 hours for him to get here physically with the fastest flight, he asked, if he can come here. In spite of knowing the hard reality of separation, how I felt his loving presence with me at that time. It gives me chills even now, after few years to read this old chat. Distance, what a sweet enemy of relationship!

My thoughts flew back few years, I remembered, how I used to long to see him every morning. How I never cared, what time of night it was but chat all night, how I longed to here all that he needed to say about his whole day, with intense sadness about not sharing any of that.

 I compared those thoughts to the conversation I have with him now a day. It goes something similar to this fashion, “Diaper is changed, I feed her last time at 6.00, lunch is in the fridge, you need to heat it up, grocery list ,and things to do is in the note pad, by the way, I love you, see you in the evening”  last few words without any life to it at all. Most of our weekdays go like this. How being together made our life very natural (boring).Where is the romantic talks and funs we had? I am sure my husband is feeling the same; he even voiced it few times. How intentional we should get to be romantic after living together for few years.

Got an Idea, Just for fun, tonight I am going to let him read this old chat, and say, “You are here, you are really here”. Would love to see how his eyes sparkle after that, Why don’t you take one intentional step to really enjoy your man’s presence in your life today?

God Bless.

If it is so, should I just fake it!

Including few other nice New Year resolutions, I also felt God is calling me to be “gentle and quite” (I Peter 3:1- 4). After reading these verse few times as a part of preparing for our 2013 Church retreat. I came to the realization this is it, I should be gentle and quite, this is my main Moto for 2014. Interestingly, I even decide to make a pledge to not wear much jewelry to beautify me but stay with a few same ornaments, until I became gentle and quite. I am this assertive person (aka strong willed). I would be the first person to raise the hand, when the air condition needed to be fixed in the class room with 500 other people. I am a woman with lot of words, lot means lot. I have this strong voice; I could speak without mike in the class with at least 100 people and still be heard well.

Now, I am trying to be quite and gentle, that meant in my dictionary, talking in low voice, using few words, not voicing my complaints to anybody, quickly refusing to take any compliment, and in core let people walk all over my head.

This was hard; really I felt the assertiveness is the essence of my makeup. It is a nature in me that was complemented by family, friends, and students alike. I am pretty sure that it is the nature that even God indent to use for His Glory. I prayed few times, I tried my best to be gentle and quite. But nothing seemed to work. This effort simply produced frustration within me, actually seemed like a battle between my nature and what I am trying to become. Nothing like, when we are trying to break free from bad habit but much more intense. Seemed like, I was trying to fight with who I was, the essence of me, becoming like an alien to myself.

I even said to myself, if it is so, should I just fake it!  That effort was a drama. Even my six month old baby could recognize something wired about the way I behaved. What a dangerous approach?

After that, I had this understanding; I would call it a revelation. My faithful God opened my eyes to the next important word that is sticking to these two words, “gentle and quite spirit”. That word made sense, tons of sense. There is fleshly gentle and quietness, and spiritually.

My creator is not calling me to be fleshly gentle and quiet but spiritually. How I was relieved! In no way I am pro at being quite and gentle spiritually, but definitely seemed logical, it aligned with my makeup.

I am not saying all our calls from God will be logical. As believers we are called to take some bold steps of faith. I am saying God’s call will mostly be logical and align with the tools that He already given us. That call will give peace and faith, not a battle within. More than anything that call will never put us in the spot to fake it.

 Despite so much grace that is needed in this path to become gentle and quite spirited woman. I have confidence; my God will make me an exact person, who He wanted me to be. But for now, I am sure not faking the fleshly gentle and quietness.

God Bless